From Solitude to Self-Integration — A Yoga Teacher's 6-Year Journey from Hopelessness to Self-Empowerment
Here I share an honest, 6-year personal journey — from 21 days of solitude in Taiwan to leading people back to their inner wisdom — giving you a truthful sense of what deep transformation actually feels like from the inside. Because there are self-realizations you cannot prepare for, meditate away from, or think your way out of. They pull you inward, deeper and deeper — until you meet the only guide that was ever there. The one within you.
Reading Time: 20- 30 mins
The street view from my quarantine room in Taipei, Taiwan, 2021
Part One - Early 2021
The room where everything stopped
I would never imagine — myself — that I will ever spend $14,000 just to be in a room, unable to see anyone for 21 days. $10,000 is about the amount for five air tickets from St. Louis to Taipei, but then they got cancelled one by one, so four of them got cancelled and turned into travel credit before I luckily got on the fifth one. Plus pre-paying $4,000 for a 21-day quarantine hotel in Taipei right after my flight is confirmed, it is doubly lucky, because not only was my friend able to help me from Taipei to find a quarantine hotel that perfectly matched my check-in time right after my flight landed in Taipei — it is a game that I have never played before, and I keep reminding myself how lucky I am!
About 1 week later, my flight landed in Taipei on January 15th, 2021, and I had a paper to prove that I was safe for 72 hours. Before I entered the check-in point, I needed to take out my U.S. SIM card and put in a new one so Taiwan's Public Health could check in with me for the next 21 days.
After all of that, I finally made it, tried to rest up and enjoy a variety of Taiwanese food that would be delivered to my door. I tried to come up with a 21-day self-care routine in my room. Yoga was perfect for my stiff and tired body. Meditation was exactly what I needed. And when my thoughts and emotions came, I pulled all of them onto paper and they held my tears perfectly. The room became a perfect middle ground for me, where I could finally process my feelings properly — I had been forced to close our first studio about 10 months ago due to Covid.
There was about a week where I slept till the afternoon and woke up at 2 a.m. every day. When I couldn't go back to sleep, I would stand by the window, looking out at the dark empty streets of Taipei. I felt like I was in a lonely place during a very lonely time. It was such a strange feeling. If you are like me, a fan of the popular classic anthology series called The Twilight Zone, you can probably get a sense of where I was
As I slowly settled in, I started asking myself — how can I make sense of all of this? My logical brain wanted so badly to find the answer. I felt I was losing something. It started with our studio, then letting go of teachers and students, then $14,000, and now it seemed like my 14 years of life in the United States also. The room felt like shore after an ongoing tsunami. I was trying hard not to lose myself. Thankfully, something small was coming back to me. I am so grateful for my friends who dropped off some love at the front desk during this isolation. I found myself speaking Mandarin on the phone, naturally, without effort and slowly, I could feel that I am in Taiwan now. It took me a while to finally feel my body and mind are in same place.
Three weeks is not a short time in isolation. When I’m aware that I have one week left, I asked myself: What are you going to do after leaving here Christy?
Well… I want to make the best of my time in Taiwan. Spend time with my family. Visit my friends in their hometowns. Go back to the village where I grew up with my grandparents. See my school and teachers. Explore places I have never seen. Basically — trace my way all the way back, and meet the person I was before I moved to the United States in 2007. I remember that Christy. The one before America. She was too busy to live. I have questions I need answered, conversations I need to have, reconciliations I owe, and people I have long lost that I want to find again.
This is what makes sense for why I am here.
The first day out of quarantine — breathing in freedom for the first time in 21 days, and straight to LungShan Temple to send my gratitude.
Part Two - 2021 -2022
From self-compression to self-compassion
But before I answer that — I want to share something I don't often talk about.
I moved from Taiwan to America in 2007 as an immigrant. And from the moment I arrived, I spent every moment just trying to learn everything — and expecting myself to be good at it as soon as possible. I watched what other people were doing and tried my best to follow. I learned all the rules, the how-tos, the best ways. And I kept going. Kept adding, skill after skill — from learning English, to driving a car, to everything in between. It took me 7 years to go from feeling like a complete outsider to feeling like I actually had a life in America. And then another 7 years of practicing yoga and building a wellness community that people genuinely loved and called home.
But no matter how much I built — there was always a voice pushing me to do more. Without even realizing it, I had become very good at expecting a lot from myself. I was always the one adding more to my own list. First it was becoming good at something. Then it was delivering value to others. And if you are someone like me, you know how quietly your brain — or your ego — can convince you that becoming good at things is always a good thing.
But sitting with myself honestly in Taiwan, with my family who was there with me and for me — especially my mother — I knew this was my best time to do some deep self work. I know the truth. I had been living with self-compression, not self-compassion. And even though everything around me felt like it was falling apart, and for a tireless builder like me that was extremely painful, something on the inside was finally waking up. My self-awareness had grown in ways I hadn't expected, and it was speaking to me more clearly than ever. I knew these things were coming from somewhere real and deep — so I started writing them down, exactly as they came, without changing a single word.
In the past, I'm always thinking, planning, preparing, cleaning, teaching and reviewing something..
Why do I share this with you? Because there are some self-realizations that you cannot plan for, cannot read your way to, and cannot teach yourself into. They only come when you are deep in the waves of living and feeling — when life gives you no other choice but to go inward.
1. The Practice Can't Save You From the Process
Despite teaching yoga and meditation for years — I cannot yoga or meditate my way out of that state of uncertainty and confusion. The very tools I had been offering others, the ones I truly believed in, could not fast-track me through this. And that humbled me deeply. Some things you simply have to feel your way through, at their own pace, in their own time.
2. No One Can Do This For You
Even though everyone I spoke to was genuinely listening to my hardships and challenges — they were not in it. Not really. They could hear me, and I am so grateful they did. But they could not find the answer for me. And slowly I realized — that was never their job. This one was mine. I was the only one who could go in and do the work. It is my life.
3. Sometimes the Most Courageous Thing Is to Let It Be
Despite reading tons of books at that time — from English to Mandarin, from philosophy to psychology — the only peace I could find within was when I finally put my book down, rested my eyes, and let it be. I was in the cloud. And so I allowed myself to be in the cloud, knowing that I am just like an airplane moving through it — above the cloud there is the sun, and below the cloud there will be places. Why not allow myself to lean into it, and feel it all?
And as I learned more and more about allowing rather than pushing myself, I felt free. And because my muscles of allowing were weak, after a while, I would shift back toward thinking quickly and then worry, and feel down… In the middle of that inner back and forth, I felt like I heard a voice from within:
There is gold in all of this.If you keep feeling into it.
No matter where the message came from, to me it felt like it came from somewhere deep within that decided to give me a hand. Then I allowed myself to shift toward freedom — free from thinking.
Wherever I choose to be, or whatever I choose to do next, I need to feel that I am free. Freedom is the core of my being. I am at my best when I am allowing myself to explore my potential — not out of being good at something, but driven by my curiosity of life. And what is more joyful than helping people find within themselves what I found within myself!
I finally connected with my 27-year-old self who was seeking potential in herself, and possibility in life beyond Taiwan — when she moved to the United States.
Here I was, 14 years later, back in Taiwan. Looking for myself again.
Part three 2022-2024
I have a promise with Christy, and I delivered it
And then one day, I come across a beautiful place online. It feel almost too surreally beautiful. A blue sky background, a Greek temple, and a male sculpture laid down — like a falling angel. Is this place real? Oh my god, it is. It is called the Valley of the Temples in Sicily! I imagine myself standing in front of it. How I wish I was there! After some daydreaming, I save that image. And I tell myself — when the world opens again, I will be there.
That feeling tells me that I am ready. Ready to return to United States. Back to doing what I love the most — sharing the ancient gift of yoga and meditation with people who feel called to it, and creating space and opportunity for people like me who are going through uncertainty and confusion, and exercising self-reflection that gives birth to clarity on their path.
The photo come to me - Temple of Concordia in Sicily
Within one week after I landed in St. Louis, May 2022 — I receive an email from someone named John, from Sandwich, Massachusetts. He is asking if I would like to host a retreat.
In Italy.
I read it twice. I cannot believe what I am seeing. Italy has been living in my mind since I see that photo, and I haven't even known yet how to put it into words. Despite I thought about going to Sicily one day, I don't know how to combine traveling and yoga and exploring life together into something I can name. I have traveled solo to many countries, but I have never brought anyone besides my family out of the country before.
“The best way to know the path is to walk the path”.
- My inner guidance
And in June 2023, I lead our very first retreat. In Italy. I still couldn’t believe it!
Our first retreat is a huge heart-stretching — not only for me, but for everyone who feel called to and go on this journey. Some of them told me they have a passport they have never used. Some are gaining the courage to travel overseas for the very first time! What an incredible feeling to say yes to their dream. I remember seeing them smile and relaxed, and most importantly, free!
A student who joined a retreat told me she hadn't taken a personal trip by herself — not for work, not with family, just for herself — since she started medical school. That was almost 30 years ago. I remember we looked at each other with a moment of shared disbelief
It is not uncommon. Not at all. It starts with the desire to be good at something or to be someone at school. And before you know it, within 10 years, the career comes, and the life partner comes, and the kids come, and the wheels of life begin to turn. When you look around, most people are riding many wheels — all shapes and sizes — and it starts to feel normal. There are always things to take care of, things to prepare for, and a few more skills to pick up quickly because the wheel is rolling faster now, and so is time.
I was one of them. I got very good at compressing myself to fit into the world — into the schedule, preparing for others, and preparing to get better for the next thing. And it wasn't until I stepped away that I could finally see my life clearly. There is a better way. A healthier way — not just for ourselves, but for everyone we care for. And it starts with self-awareness. Without stepping out of the daily wheel for a while, perspective and clarity do not come easily, and so the change we truly desire becomes short-lived.
Very fortunately, I host another retreat in Italy with Lucia in 2024. And after our lovely retreat is completed, I have a personal commitment that I vow to deliver for Christy — the frustrated, struggling Christy who spent $14,000 to be in a room for 21 days and didn't know why. So I travel to Sicily alone. To the Valley of the Temples. To the Temple of Concordia.
I will never forget the moment I am actually standing right there, next to the graceful male-figure angel. To walk through the Valley of the Temples feels like a dream again — but a different kind of dream. This time, the experience feels like a confirmation of my own calling. I didn't push myself but carry myself through it with self-compassion, and allow my heart to lead when my brain is questioning.
There is gold in all of this. If you keep feeling into it, then you will arrive
- My inner guidance
have a promise to Christy, and I did it. Sicily, July, 2024
Part Four -2025
Sacred Valley — Where I learn to listen and feel
About this time, I receive another invitation from Munay Sonqo in Peru. A retreat center located in the Sacred Valley — an amazing location due to its natural spiritual power, breathtaking landscapes, and access to incredible Incan sites such as Machu Picchu. They tell me Munay Sonqo means "loving heart" in Quechua — the ancient language of the Quechua community. The message pulls a string in my heart the moment I read it.
And from my own experience, I know — the best way to know the path is to walk the path myself. In June 2025, me and our sweet group arrived in the Sacred Valley.
I can't quite describe the feeling of walking into the center, and then into the temple where we hold our despacho ceremony. Maybe it is because we can see the full moon. Maybe it is because I can hear the nearby waterfall. Or the fact that we are physically by the Andes Mountains at about 9,500 feet. It feels a sense of surreal.
Our paqo — our Andean spiritual guide — leads us into the despacho ceremony. We are invited into their way of being. Slowly, and quietly, I feel an inner shift within me. I see myself move from the modern Western sense of time into something beyond time. Something that has been there before me, and beyond me. We are guided to connect with something much larger than ourselves — the Milky Way, the Universe — in a circle, in a temple where the light from the full moon makes some people look so soft. We set our intention and give our offering to Pachamama — Mother Earth. Asking for her permission and her protection before our journey begins.
The temple in Munay Sonqo, Sacred Valley, Peru
In that moment, I know — we have arrived in the right place. Guided by people with deep respect, deep presence, and deep heart.
As we continue through the sacred sites — and especially at Machu Picchu — our paqo Valerio invites us to experience the land with our whole being. He asks us to lean into the rock and listen. In Peru, there are rocks that sound like church bells — can you imagine? He tells us everything is vibration, from physical to non-physical. If we want to sense the presence of life in everything around us — in the trees, the flowers, in the path we walk — we have to soften the thinking mind. And allow our whole being to become part of what is around us. There is a world we cannot see with our eyes, but can feel when we become quiet and still.
Machu Picchu, he says, is the university of the Universe.
There is the visible side — the one we can photograph.
And there is another side.One that cannot be seen, but can only be felt.
In the ancient time before the Spanish conquest in the 15th century, people used to take pilgrimage by foot from wherever they were to Machu Picchu — to meditate and receive the wisdom of the Universe. After all, we are living in a vibrational-based universe.
We all leave with a deep sense of awe. And for me — if my 21 days in that room was a time of going within, our time in the Sacred Valley feels like something has been cracked slightly open. And that is the beginning.
It has been 10 months since our return. And yet the presence of the Andes and Machu Picchu has never truly left me. This experience feels like a few veils have been gently lifted. On the outside — it feels like revealing a different dimension of being that I hadn't fully known before. On the inside — I learn to allow more inner space, more personal reflection, unfolding week after week after my return.
Agriculture provides the opportunity for humans to connect with Mother Earth, and to appreciate the offerings she brings to us. One crop, corn, plays a vital role as both a food and a symbol of life itself. With a deep-rooted commitment to their traditions, ceremonies, and stewardship of their land, the community continues to live a challenging but enduring life.
For a very long time, teaching yoga and meditation has been my offering to the world. But after one and a half years of walking from solitude all the way to self-integration — and becoming a certified coach in 2025 to guide people back to their inner teacher — I see my role differently now. I am not here to give you the answers. I am here to be a bridge. To create the space and the opportunity for you to finally listen to what has been living inside you all along.
This summer, from July 11–22, I will be bringing our small group of like-minded and like-hearted people together to embark on an 11-day Sacred Heart Pilgrimage journey in Peru. If you feel called — then you can trust this journey is for you, and I will be there with you.
The best way to know your path, is to walk the path, yourself.
Christy Lin
